Finding Freedom Through Forgiveness: A Personal Journey

Forgiveness has always seemed like a vast, mysterious concept to me—something noble and right, yet challenging and elusive. Growing up, I was taught that forgiveness was essential, but no one really explained how it felt to forgive or why it sometimes felt impossible to let go.

The truth is, forgiveness isn’t always easy. It can feel like tearing down a wall that, even though it keeps others out, also keeps me in. But as I’ve grown, I’ve discovered that forgiveness isn’t about excusing hurtful behavior or pretending painful experiences didn’t matter. It’s about releasing myself f

rom resentment and freeing myself from being trapped in the past.

A Turning Point in My Understanding

My journey with forgiveness took a transformative turn when I encountered the philosophy of Louise Hay. Her ideas about self-love, inner healing, and the power of thought patterns really challenged me to look at forgiveness differently. She suggested that forgiveness is an act of self-compassion—a way of removing the emotional poison that comes with anger and bitterness. I was struck by the idea that forgiving someone, even if they’d never know about it, could help me reclaim my peace.

The Power of Forgiving Myself

One of the most significant lessons I learned was that forgiveness isn’t just something we extend to others. It’s also something we give ourselves. I realized that I held onto a lot of guilt and shame for past decisions, things I wish I could change. But holding onto these regrets kept me stuck, unable to grow and fully embrace who I am today.

Letting go of self-criticism has been an incredibly freeing experience. It doesn’t mean I dismiss my mistakes or excuse poor choices, but I acknowledge that they’re part of my journey and that I can learn from them without allowing them to define me.

Steps Toward Forgiveness

Forgiveness, I’ve found, isn’t a one-time event. It’s a process. Here’s what’s helped me:

1. Acknowledge the Pain: The first step for me was to validate my feelings, even if it hurt. Suppressing pain only delays healing. Acknowledging that I was hurt or disappointed allowed me to be honest with myself and understand why forgiveness was necessary.

2. Take Small Steps: For me, forgiveness didn’t mean jumping to total peace overnight. I started by letting go of small resentments and building toward releasing bigger ones. This gradual process helped me ease into forgiveness rather than forcing myself to “get over it.”

3. Practice Empathy: Understanding others’ perspectives doesn’t make their actions right, but it helps me see them as human, just like me—imperfect and on their own journeys. It’s easier to forgive when I remember that we all stumble and grow in our own ways.

4. Focus on the Present: Staying in the present has helped me prevent past hurts from overshadowing my current happiness. Mindfulness and gratitude practices have been powerful tools in my forgiveness journey, reminding me to appreciate the beauty and peace in the present moment.

5. Forgive Myself Along the Way: This, for me, has been the hardest but most rewarding part. By forgiving myself for my own missteps, I’ve learned to soften toward others. When I am gentle with myself, it becomes easier to extend that same compassion outward.

Forgiveness as an Ongoing Practice

I’m still learning and practicing forgiveness every day. Some days are easier than others, but each small act of forgiveness brings me closer to inner freedom. For anyone struggling with forgiveness, my heart goes out to you—it’s not an easy path, but it’s one worth walking.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten the past, but it does mean that I refuse to let it control my future. I choose peace, compassion, and growth. And each time I choose forgiveness, I take a step closer to a life filled with true freedom and joy.